guitar pet peeves

For guitars of the straight waisted variety (or reverse offset).
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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by MechaBulletBill » Fri Nov 03, 2017 4:00 pm

I don't care if this has been in the thread already, people that really commit to calling their guitar by female pronouns. And it's always people at either end of the gear spectrum - "I looked across a sea of redheads and blondes [CAR and Oly white] but my eye was caught by a striking brunette [burst] and I had to take her home with me. Her name's Roberta cuz she plays like 'BERTA' [butter]" - this guitar is either an MiM standard or a CS relic, nothing in between.

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by BoringPostcards » Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:23 am

People always going straight for the cheesy blues double stops in demos.
Double stops are pretty cringe inducing.
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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by s_mcsleazy » Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:00 am

so here is one i had recently. i wanted to try out one of the newish fender mustangs. obviously i went for the pink one. i felt mainly like playing surf/garage rock since i was listening to the trashwomen in the car. i had this old blooze geezer come up to me and say "ha, your too good to be playing a student guitar like that" pulled a £2000 les paul off the wall without asking the staff and said "here, play a real guitar" then started telling me the benefits of the les paul. keep in mind, im an anxious fellow on the autism spectrum and if strangers that bold start talking to me i get really anxious and my fight or flight kicks in. i start hinting at the guy "im just here to try the mustang for my friend who likes mustangs and see if it would be a good alt to his mustang" but he still keeps talking to me bold as hell. so im getting more and more anxious and i just blurt out "tell me, do you use a lot of brasso? i can understand if you do since it must take a lot to polish those massive brass balls you have to bother someone who'se just wanting to try out a guitar for fun" then walked to the counter, gave em back the mustang and walked out.

so my pet peeve is judgmental strangers in guitar shops
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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by Squirrel » Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:28 am

s_mcsleazy wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:00 am
so here is one i had recently. i wanted to try out one of the newish fender mustangs. obviously i went for the pink one. i felt mainly like playing surf/garage rock since i was listening to the trashwomen in the car. i had this old blooze geezer come up to me and say "ha, your too good to be playing a student guitar like that" pulled a £2000 les paul off the wall without asking the staff and said "here, play a real guitar" then started telling me the benefits of the les paul. keep in mind, im an anxious fellow on the autism spectrum and if strangers that bold start talking to me i get really anxious and my fight or flight kicks in. i start hinting at the guy "im just here to try the mustang for my friend who likes mustangs and see if it would be a good alt to his mustang" but he still keeps talking to me bold as hell. so im getting more and more anxious and i just blurt out "tell me, do you use a lot of brasso? i can understand if you do since it must take a lot to polish those massive brass balls you have to bother someone who'se just wanting to try out a guitar for fun" then walked to the counter, gave em back the mustang and walked out.

so my pet peeve is judgmental strangers in guitar shops
Oh, these fucking guys. Every time I enter any music shop some 60 year old guy always immediately teleports an inch away from my face and goes into a classic rock monologue of indefinite duration, with a comprehensive list of every concert he's ever been to. It's thanks to these guys that I've truly perfected my derisive snort.

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by s_mcsleazy » Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:32 am

Squirrel wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:28 am
s_mcsleazy wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:00 am
so here is one i had recently. i wanted to try out one of the newish fender mustangs. obviously i went for the pink one. i felt mainly like playing surf/garage rock since i was listening to the trashwomen in the car. i had this old blooze geezer come up to me and say "ha, your too good to be playing a student guitar like that" pulled a £2000 les paul off the wall without asking the staff and said "here, play a real guitar" then started telling me the benefits of the les paul. keep in mind, im an anxious fellow on the autism spectrum and if strangers that bold start talking to me i get really anxious and my fight or flight kicks in. i start hinting at the guy "im just here to try the mustang for my friend who likes mustangs and see if it would be a good alt to his mustang" but he still keeps talking to me bold as hell. so im getting more and more anxious and i just blurt out "tell me, do you use a lot of brasso? i can understand if you do since it must take a lot to polish those massive brass balls you have to bother someone who'se just wanting to try out a guitar for fun" then walked to the counter, gave em back the mustang and walked out.

so my pet peeve is judgmental strangers in guitar shops
Oh, these fucking guys. Every time I enter any music shop some 60 year old guy always immediately teleports an inch away from my face and goes into a classic rock monologue of indefinite duration, with a comprehensive list of every concert he's ever been to. It's thanks to these guys that I've truly perfected my derisive snort.
i like to think they are shape shifting aliens and when you sit down, it triggers them to transform from the stools in the corner of the room into a entirely different kind of stool.
offset guitars resident bass player.
'Are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson? Or do you just want me to solder a couple of resistors into your Muff?'

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by TeenageShutdown! » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:44 am

s_mcsleazy wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:00 am
i felt mainly like playing surf/garage rock since i was listening to the trashwomen in the car.
Love garage, hench my name. Trashwomen are (or were?) so great! Estrus had / has a lot of great bands on their label. Seen Tina in the crowd at a Mummies show. Would of loved to seen T.W. at last years Boogaloo fest.

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by shadowplay » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:11 am

Squirrel wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:28 am
s_mcsleazy wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:00 am
so here is one i had recently. i wanted to try out one of the newish fender mustangs. obviously i went for the pink one. i felt mainly like playing surf/garage rock since i was listening to the trashwomen in the car. i had this old blooze geezer come up to me and say "ha, your too good to be playing a student guitar like that" pulled a £2000 les paul off the wall without asking the staff and said "here, play a real guitar" then started telling me the benefits of the les paul. keep in mind, im an anxious fellow on the autism spectrum and if strangers that bold start talking to me i get really anxious and my fight or flight kicks in. i start hinting at the guy "im just here to try the mustang for my friend who likes mustangs and see if it would be a good alt to his mustang" but he still keeps talking to me bold as hell. so im getting more and more anxious and i just blurt out "tell me, do you use a lot of brasso? i can understand if you do since it must take a lot to polish those massive brass balls you have to bother someone who'se just wanting to try out a guitar for fun" then walked to the counter, gave em back the mustang and walked out.

so my pet peeve is judgmental strangers in guitar shops
Oh, these fucking guys. Every time I enter any music shop some 60 year old guy always immediately teleports an inch away from my face and goes into a classic rock monologue of indefinite duration, with a comprehensive list of every concert he's ever been to. It's thanks to these guys that I've truly perfected my derisive snort.
I tend to avoid Guitar shops when other folk are in them and do my shopping in the ten minute window after opening but I regularly encounter guitar shop arsehole's cousin; 'car arsehole'. Car arsehole likes to share his (always male) opinions on the folly of Italian cars, make comments about some cars having the engine at the wrong end, tell me this or that car is unreliable, tell me Maserati is the poor man's Ferrari (like that's a bad thing anyway), tell me R107 SL's are effeminate, my W111 Coupe is a bit of a 'gin palace', tell me my old cars are over restored or maybe even tell me my Land Rover is too shiny and somehow a disgrace.

The funny thing about car arsehole is that all his opinions are secondhand, he's never owned any of these cars and he usually walking back to his fucking Vauxhall Astra which is unbeknownst to him signwritten with 'CLUELESS' in paint only the non clueless can read.

D
I like that old time rock 'n' roll, don't try to take me to a disco.

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by Maggieo » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:12 am

BoringPostcards wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:23 am
People always going straight for the cheesy blues double stops in demos.
Double stops are pretty cringe inducing.
That, along with:

"Check it out!"
Fuzzy shredding
distorted chicken pickin'
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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by secondhand » Wed Nov 08, 2017 7:47 am

Sold an amp last night. I accepted an offer to knock 5 bucks off the price. Fine no problem.

"Does a cable come with it?" (amp equivalent of whammy bar and case)
"No cable included."
"Do you have one you can sell me?"

Oh, so you have money now.
When I got there the guy literally didn't know how to use his volume knob. He said he didn't know which way to turn it.
Good as the best. Bad as the worst!

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by mbene085 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:11 am

People who describe a guitar as having "natural relicing". It's just f*cking play wear and finish damage. Calling it the natural version of something fake that was meant to simulate the ACTUAL THING this guitar has is like saying "Did you go somewhere warm? You look naturally spray-tanned."

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by s_mcsleazy » Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:55 am

secondhand wrote:
Wed Nov 08, 2017 7:47 am
Sold an amp last night. I accepted an offer to knock 5 bucks off the price. Fine no problem.

"Does a cable come with it?" (amp equivalent of whammy bar and case)
"No cable included."
"Do you have one you can sell me?"

Oh, so you have money now.
When I got there the guy literally didn't know how to use his volume knob. He said he didn't know which way to turn it.
yes. for fuck sake i had this when i was trying to sell my valve jr.
offset guitars resident bass player.
'Are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson? Or do you just want me to solder a couple of resistors into your Muff?'

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by marqueemoon » Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:12 am

BoringPostcards wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:23 am
People always going straight for the cheesy blues double stops in demos.
Double stops are pretty cringe inducing.
I know what you mean, but double stops can be great.

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by Maggieo » Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:49 am

marqueemoon wrote:
Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:12 am
BoringPostcards wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:23 am
People always going straight for the cheesy blues double stops in demos.
Double stops are pretty cringe inducing.
I know what you mean, but double stops can be great.
Quine and Ribot's double stops are things of magnificent fury.
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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by BoringPostcards » Sat Nov 11, 2017 10:18 am

Maggieo wrote:
Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:49 am
marqueemoon wrote:
Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:12 am
BoringPostcards wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:23 am
People always going straight for the cheesy blues double stops in demos.
Double stops are pretty cringe inducing.
I know what you mean, but double stops can be great.
Quine and Ribot's double stops are things of magnificent fury.
Truth. Double stops aren't inherently bad. I'm specifically referring to every demo guy going straight for the improvised attempt to show they can cop a Jimi Hendrix feel.
Just that particular style of double stop usage. Its' overdone to the extreme.
"Can you please pass me a jug of winter light?" - Lee Ranaldo 2000
Det er mig der holder træerne sammen.

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Re: guitar pet peeves

Post by Maggieo » Sat Nov 11, 2017 10:57 am

Oh god, the BLOOZE double stop is a pox upon the ears.
“Now I am quietly waiting for/ the catastrophe of my personality/ to seem beautiful again.”- Frank O'Hara
I am not an attorney and this post is for entertainment purposes only. Please consult a licensed attorney in your state for legal advice.

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