Guitar Center. Can’t try any guitars out that doesn’t have grimy strings & are nowhere near in tune. Have your kid wash their hands after they rub one out, before entering the store. Then I have to find a crappy squak box amp with a built in tuner.
Other forums. Thanks for your NGD review on your Walmart Sawtooth Tele & why it’s superior to anything Fender CS puts out.
Cover bands. ‘nuff said.
Radio: Haven’t listened to you in 15 years, & now you wan’t me to pay for it. Fuck off.
DJ’s: Self serving, sociopath, super ego, Howard Stern spawned, local “taking it to the EXTREME” radio statio DJ. You’re being phased out like a toll booth worker. You can’t make it at comedy the way the Guitar Center staff can’t make it at music.
Classic rock: Ppl stuck in that stale ass biased bubble. Also, their generation of music is the “best” music generation.
The grocery store dudes: I have to stop wearing guitar gear shirts because of other musicians approaching me. Just because you play an instrument doesn’t mean I have to jam with you. Keep your business card.
The “Made in USA” guy: Only plays MIA guitars, while their house furnishings, appliances, clothing, electronics, cat litter, & 60% of their domestic vehicle is foreign. Thanks for your patriotic rant from your Chinese computer. Global economy, deal with it.
MF / GC guitar reviews: “I’ve been playing guitar for 80 years & have played them all. Owned vintage Fenders, Gibsons, Taylors, Martins, PRS, and this $129 guitar smokes them all! It’s amazing how much guitar you can get for the money!” Reality: I lost everything in the divorce, but now I got a guitar & money left over for drugs & scratch tickets.
Strats: NGD Strat. Just stop. We’ve seen every fucking possible color, pickguard, fretboard material, & pickup type configuration imaginable.
Youtube Dad & Kid Jam: Yup, dad ain’t trying to live his failed glory through his conditioned kid.
The Clone: Help me get the exact sound of “insert guitarists here” so I can get my own original & unique sound.
The Tall Fuck: You manage to find the shortest person in the crowd (me) to stand in front of so you can talk to your 4’ 8” gf. Thanks Manute Bul.
The Sappy Drivel Acoustic Cover: Oh look how trendy I am, I did a slowed down acoustic cover of a hit song. Please tell me I matter. I really want my cover to be used to sell Volkswagons.
The Band That Doesn’t Know They Suck: Your band sucks. Your perception of yourselves is not how others see you.