Rotten Relics

Discussion of newer designs, copies and reissue offset-waist instruments.
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EdGrip
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by EdGrip » Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:16 pm

jim93 wrote:Playing the hell out of it wont make your guitar check nor will it make your nitro yellow
Aaah, it's just one of various standard anti-relic mantras that all relic threads must contain, sure as the sun doth rise and set.
Last edited by EdGrip on Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by croatan » Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:18 pm

you seriously meant golf pants when you said knickers? who says "unbunch your golf pants?"

now i want to drop a bunch of old golf clubs onto the edge of the body of a guitar to simulate heavy cymbals and mic stands.
"To you whose souls are lured by noise to every treacherous abyss, for you do not feel for a rope like cowards, and where you can guess you hate to calculate. And where others would poison, you dismember." -Nietzche/Nation of Ulysses

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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by Leviman » Fri Feb 24, 2012 3:35 am

croatan wrote:you seriously meant golf pants when you said knickers? who says "unbunch your golf pants?"

now i want to drop a bunch of old golf clubs onto the edge of the body of a guitar to simulate heavy cymbals and mic stands.
Shhhhhhh just stop. You two are like a couple two year olds. For the record, the word knickers can also mean womens panties, mens underwear, or golf pants. It's pretty obvious what the man meant.
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by croatan » Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:43 am

all JJ had to do was say that's not what he meant and give some specifics on how the Rain Guitar advice would help this kid relic his guitar.
instead, he included a bunch of mouth-off, including a remark that I found sexist.
I was pretty proud of the board when it stood up and told that other guy that "Japanese" was not an acceptable abbreviation for "Japanese" due to its use as a racial slur.
Racism bad, Sexism not so bad? I don't think so.
Knickers. Google it. First entry is the wiklpedia page for panties. "unbunch your panties" is the phrase you'll hear in common usage, and it's what he meant regardless of this sophomoric backpedaling you guys are doing.
if this is acting like a two year old, i'm glad that two year old already knows that young that sexist speech is just as bad as racist speech.
"To you whose souls are lured by noise to every treacherous abyss, for you do not feel for a rope like cowards, and where you can guess you hate to calculate. And where others would poison, you dismember." -Nietzche/Nation of Ulysses

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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by andy_tchp » Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:14 pm

???

Regardless of the supposedly all knowing Wikipedia, for 30 years or so I've known the word 'knickers' to only mean underpants, as a completely generic term, both of the male and female variety (y-fronts, boxer shorts, g-strings, whatever). Nobody has ever asked me to unbunch mine, nor my 'panties' so I'm not sure how common the phrase is. Neither have I ever heard of golf pants being referred to as 'knickers'.

One of the quirks of the written word and English language I guess, and perhaps worth remembering that this site is viewed/contributed to by people from all around the globe.

Aside from being completely off-topic, I don't think any of this is worth starting a flame-war over, and attempting to play the 'sexism!' card is drawing an extremely long bow and makes little to no sense after re-reading Jingle_Jangle's posts in this thread.


To the OP and approaching something on-topic - If you've clear-coated with nitro laquer, leaving the finish exposed to sunlight will achieve 'yellowing' fairly easily and naturally. My only other advice re "relic-ing" is to keep it subtle, only do small amounts at a time followed by a long break (then reviewing your progress with fresh eyes), and don't get carried away!
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by andrewdoeshair » Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:43 pm

I'm not taking sides, just taking a jab at political correctness in general. But if "don't get your panties in a bunch" is considered sexist, is that to say that there aren't men who wear panties?
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by countertext » Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:11 pm

andrewdoeshair wrote:I'm not taking sides, just taking a jab at political correctness in general. But if "don't get your panties in a bunch" is considered sexist, is that to say that there aren't men who wear panties?
This is where someone throws in "Some of my best friends are men who wear panties"...

...except some of my friends really are men who wear panties!

On a related note, I've decided to do a refin in nitro rather than acrylic (nitro seems like a pain in the ass, but I keep reading that other stuff takes months to harden), and now I'm kinda looking forward to it yellowing and checking somewhere down the line. But I don't want to relic it directly.

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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by croatan » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:29 am

besides being sexist because it's an attack that relies on a stereotyped gender-role to attack my masculinity as if my masculinity were something to preserve in the face of feminist encroachment, it's also a marginalization of my point of view ostensibly for the reason that he just can't be bothered to argue about it and thinks i am being overly sensitive and hysterical about it, a trait which he associates with women by referencing their undergarments, which is a sexist point of view.

i still say "leave it out in the rain" is bad advice. unless you are trying to make it look like Leslie West stood over it and sweated down onto it from above while he played another guitar or something, it comes off like the kind of flippant BS you hand to someone so they know you have contempt for the subject at the least, and get them to ruin a perfectly viable guitar at the best.
"To you whose souls are lured by noise to every treacherous abyss, for you do not feel for a rope like cowards, and where you can guess you hate to calculate. And where others would poison, you dismember." -Nietzche/Nation of Ulysses

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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by slavemaster » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:43 am

I relic my body by eating junk food in copious amounts, not exercising and smoking and drinking ;)

I don't know anything about how to relic your guitar, but this is the best advice that you'll ever get:
andy_tchp wrote:My only other advice re "relic-ing" is to keep it subtle, only do small amounts at a time followed by a long break (then reviewing your progress with fresh eyes), and don't get carried away!
For some examples of subtlety in practice, search for Danocaster's posts here, and take points from his work. Maybe even PM him for some hints (I am not sure what's his "disclosure" policy, since he does earn his keep by doing those relics, but trying would not hurt).
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by garyptaszek » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:49 am

jim93 wrote:Playing the hell out of it wont make your guitar check nor will it make your nitro yellow
well my Baritone JM is checking and cracking going from the cold van into hot venues and back again, getting covered in sweat then going back into the cold van... soo yeah gigging it does make your guitar check...

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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by Wessel.v.l » Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:12 am

OK guys thanks for all the tips.
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Re: How do you age (relic ) your bodies?

Post by SEXTYPETHING » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:31 am

andrewdoeshair wrote:I'm not taking sides, just taking a jab at political correctness in general. But if "don't get your panties in a bunch" is considered sexist, is that to say that there aren't men who wear panties?

Hilarious!

When I was a kid, my dad's friend built partscasters in a small old shed behind his house that you could see light through. By the time he would finish them, they'd be naturally aged at least to an extent.
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Do You Pass Your Relic Off As True Vintage?

Post by JMFan » Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:19 am

Curious if any of you who make relic guitars try to pass them off as real vintage? I don't mean anything criminal, like make them and sell them as vintage, no one would admit to that but I mean do you do that for fun? Do you make yours so realistic that you tell your friends that you just bought say a 1964 Jazzmaster?

I'm gonna do some distressing to my JM but not to fool anyone. The paint is aging already and only 9 year old guitar. Was not on purpose but I learned that nitro is fairly delicate and it shows. I might just replace the plastic dots with clay for accuracy reasons and to match the aging paint I'd like to distress the plastic parts. I am not going to however distress the metal hardware. Not trying to fool anyone but just trying to have the guitar match itself as in what I said about the plastic matching the aging paint and the dots and such.

But do you for kicks pass your relic off as a real vintage guitar?

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Re: Do You Pass Your Relic Off As True Vintage?

Post by jeesumcrow » Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:50 am

no! never! that is a crime!

however, I had a 5 or 6 year old AVRI Jazzmaster, and she had chips and bruises, and it was yellowed, and all that good stuff. And it seems that people who don't see a lot of offsets always ask me "is that a really old guitar?", maybe its just based on shape and colour, or maybe the rarity of offsets in general, but I am always put in this weird situation of explaining to someone (who often has no idea about guitars) that "well yes, it is oldish thats why its beat up, and it is supposed to 'look' old because it is a reissue, but no, it is just like it would have been in '62"... "What! it's a '62? thats pretty old"... "no its not from.. you see... its... aww fuck it. Ya man, 62!" :)

...so I guess when I am setting my pedals up, and a drunk guys like "hey! how old is that!" and I run thru the "reissue" part, and people don't understand what I said, I will say anything to get rid of them. Hell the first time someone asks "is that new?" I'll tell them its futuristic.

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Re: Do You Pass Your Relic Off As True Vintage?

Post by Johnny Z » Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:25 am

That would be a lie. Why would anyone buy a beater guitar for the same price as a Mint Condition guitar? I've always suspected Fender takes their blems and makes them into Relic's. Trying to say something without saying it but giving the impression, is still a lie.

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